Supporting Young Children During
War and Conflict
As we watch the
conflict in
The most
important thing families and other adults can do is make sure children aren't
over-exposed to media coverage of the war. More than any other action, avoiding
media coverage will protect children from confusing and disturbing images.
When young
children do witness violent events, directly or on television, they are likely
to feel afraid and confused. Images of soldiers fighting and buildings blowing
up can cause high anxiety and even panic. Young children are most fearful when
they do not understand what is happening around them. Their strong feelings and
reactions should be expected and considered natural.
Helping children
deal with their reactions to violence can be challenging when adults are
struggling with their own feelings. However, we should remember that young
children are very perceptive and will quickly recognize and respond to the fear
and anxiety that adults are experiencing.
The following
strategies can help families and other adults give children emotional support
and show them that they are safe in our care.
Offer reassurance through physical
closeness.
Holding children
brings comfort and a sense of security. Children may need extra hugs, smiles
and hand-holding. If they seem worried, tell them they are safe and that there
is someone there to take care of them. Hearing a family member or a teacher
say, "I will take care of you," helps children feel safe. Young
children have great faith in the competence of adults and respond to adult
reassurances.
Maintain structure.
Children need
consistency and security in their day, especially when the world around them
seems confusing or unpredictable, or when adults are preoccupied or upset.
Provide a framework that stays the same from day to day. Emphasize familiar
routines at playtime, clean-up, naptime, meals, and bedtime. Make sure children
get appropriate sleep, exercise, and nutrition. Children may find it difficult
to accept routines and limits, but persevere by being firm, calm, and
supportive. Make decisions for children when they cannot cope with choice.
Respond to children's interest in talking
about the war.
Children gain a
sense of control by talking about things that bother or confuse them. Talking
with a supportive adult can help them clarify their feelings. At the same time,
children should not be pressured to talk; let them set the pace for their
conservation. In a calm, reassuring way, you can let
children know that you too have feelings of concern and anxiety. You might
share some ways you handle your feelings-spending time with family, taking a
walk, listening to music, and so on. What children need most is to feel that
the situation is under control.
Offer experiences that help children
release tension.
·
Give
worried children more time for relaxing, therapeutic experiences such as
playing with sand, water, clay, and playdough.
·
Provide
plenty of time and opportunities for children to work out their concerns and
feelings through dramatic play. In dramatic play, children can pretend that
they are big and strong to gain control over their trauma and to overcome
feelings of helplessness.
·
Spend
more time outdoors, at the gym, or in the park so children have opportunities
for physical activity that provides an emotional release.
Model peaceful resolution to conflict.
Let children see
you using peaceful strategies for solving problems through negotiation,
compromise, and discussion. This is one way to give children a stronger sense
of power and control. Because children who experience violence may respond with
aggression, they need to see alternatives to using violence to solve problems.
Watch for changes in behavior.
Some children
reflect their increased stress and anxiety through specific changes in
behavior, often reverting to earlier stages of development. Changes in behavior
may indicate that a child is trying to understand and make sense of his anxiety
and fear. For preschoolers, such symptoms can include thumbsucking,
bedwetting, clinging, changes in sleep or eating patterns, and isolation from
other children. Older children may be irritable or aggressive, and they might
have difficulty concentrating at home and at school.
Take care of yourself.
Remember to take
some time to deal with your own feelings and needs, so that you can continue to
provide the comfort, reassurance, and stability that young children needs.
NAEYC has
several other resources on our Web site that may be helpful for families and
others who work with young children:
A new article
from Diane Levin,
"Beyond
Banning War and Superhero Play: Meeting Children's Needs in Violent
Times", May 2003
Helping
Children Cope with Violence, Early Years are Learning Years 03/1
Resources that
may be ordered via website
What Happened to the World: Helping
Children Cope in Turbulent Times--
a book and facilitator's guide available through our online catalog
When Disaster Strikes: Helping Young
Children Cope-- a
brochure available through our online catalog
National Association for the Education of
Young Children (NAEYC)
800-424-2460, or
202-232-8777